My friend Ian..?17 1 25 (8) 25 1 28

Not such a big deal because he and I met through work. It was my first job and he was maybe 3 or 4 years older and cast in the position of mentor to me, instructing me in all the jobs associated with working in a Paper Mill laboratory: all the testing of water samples. The river water coming into the factory: water to raise steam in the Boiler House, steam to drive the electricity turbine, steam to heat the paper machine cylinders. So collecting the incoming water samples and testing them for their hardness level, etc. My next job was to treat the different waters with chemicals to make them fit for their intended uses: water for the paper machines had to be treated with chlorine gas to kill all the bugs off for example and one of my jobs was ensuring there was a continuing supply of liquid chlorine, changing the gas cylinders when they became empty. The older guys like Ian would be responsible for inventory to ensure the flow of chemical supplies continued, a duty which one day would pass to me if I stayed long enough. Between Ian and me was another young guy, T but he and I never really hit it off so he never became a friend, unlike Ian who became pretty near a friend for life…

As we got older Ian, the one who went to the better school you would have expected to go the distance with his tertiary education, whilst he stopped with ONC (Ordinary National Certificate) in Chemistry whilst I went on and completed also the 2 year HNC course, the Higher National Certificate, before rounding off my studies in a University. Ian of course got married some years before I did and in mid-life went through a crisis which among other things resulted in his divorcing his wife, P. Nevertheless we somehow continued to remain friends occasionally visiting each other's houses, and as luck would have it our paths crossed more than once as we continued to work in similar industries and jobs.  

In the fullness of time we each became Managers in Industry though my position was at a higher level than his and with his divorce he began a string of relationships with usually once married partners who generally like he had children from an earlier relationship. None of these ever really worked out for him however and the last one to my knowledge was when he was well into his seventies when he announced on a postcard he was going to marry this lady from Oregon in the USA. Earlier he had moved house from his beloved Edinburgh back to the area of England from which we both hailed and I suspected with that move it wouldn’t last long. When he moved back after a year one wasn’t surprised in the least.

When he returned from his misadventure in the USA to finally take up residence not too far away from his daughter N where she lives with her husband and 3 teenage daughters, his grandchildren, I cannot any longer attempt to take contact again. When I first heard of his returning to UK and Edinburgh I tried repeatedly to get in touch whenever I was passing through the city on my way to visit Scotland’s high places, but to no avail and I guessed the reason was that he had embarrassed himself one more time..?.

And so being thrown together as it were in our youths and remaining friends for more than 50 years it is sad to discover that the friendship was no longer sustainable from his side: we are still in touch with his daughter who for a year was an exchange student between Edinburgh and Helsinki Universities, and when she married B, her husband, Ian invited me to their wedding where I met P still happily married to her second husband, D. and who one manages still to exchange Christmas Cards with…

So such a cut and dried example as this is perhaps a good place to start writing sequels to my last introductory blog: an example of an unfortunate departure but one which doesn’t carry with it a lot of heart-ache either for me and hopefully not for him. And whatever the event now I can look back with a good deal of fond affection for the guy who as my mentor was infinitely preferable to other people around at the time but perhaps a guy who in old age sees his life as lacking something which I managed to hold on to? Have a good day everyone as one hopes you too got to be the kind of person you are not too unhappy to be: now as you are getting older? 

PS 25 1 28 Sadly I learned from his daughter that Ian passed away this time last year, But before he died before his last Christmas he prevailed upon Kevin his son to write to me to tell me his whereabouts and how to get in touch with him. Well thankfully i was able to send him one last Christmas card: this a nice place to make note of it I hope you'll agree. RIP Ian my old buddy!