Favoured children..? 18 3 9 (18) 25 1 31

And the sadness in a girl’s life who grows up believing her father cares but little for her affection..?

This last week or so I have been clearing out my study cum bedroom in order to reduce the burden of dust in our house which of late would have appeared to exacerbate the chestiness of my good wife. In the process I got to review some of the cards we had received at times like birthdays, Christmastime and odd postcards either we had received, or in odd cases we had sent, to for example our children or grandchildren, who at various times had stayed with us for one reason or another.

The person who was the most popular contributor to this old correspondence was of course my mother, and I say of course because it was her love more than anything else I guess which shaped my personality and who towards the end of her life became my most fervent champion..?

Whilst we were all three of her children young and growing up she would now and then proclaim “I have no favourites!” “None of you can expect better treatment than the others” but as she got much older she let her guard slip a little and it was ever clearer she regarded me her favourite, though like her own mother who lived and died in my mother’s house for the last 4 years of her life she moved in with her only daughter, my sister, and her family, and was nursed up until the last few weeks of her life, when she was cared for by the British Health Service on a hospital ward for Geriatric patients.

I was the son therefore who despite living abroad saw more of our mother than my elder brother who had to travel almost as long as I because of congested roads which probably took him 3 or 4 hours in order to visit her, and she more than once proclaimed upon my entering her house: “I see more of you!”

Well her old birthday cards and stuff impressed me so much many of them brought a tear to my eye, and there was no way I could throw any of them away, so they will reside in a draw I have allocated and maybe the next time someone goes through the correspondence it will be when I depart this world for the next? hahaha

One of the corollaries to what I have thus far written is the sadness surrounding daughters who have experiences of an altogether different nature when it can be said they are unable to love freely because they have been let down so badly in their childhoods because of a less than attentive parent. How do I know this? Well after 50 years of marriage a husband and 25 and 22 years as a father-in-law to three fine women, let’s just agree to my being in a good position to observe such phenomena...? Additionally, are all the other examples of the fairer sex one gets to observe and to an extent gets to interact with, which all contribute to this fascinating subject, we men can all recall with special affection when thinking what special day was celebrated internationally only yesterday 8^th March..?  

More than most I have also begun to think of a young woman whom I met 10 years ago this coming August, who I believe was in all probability the eldest of three siblings comprising a younger sister (for sure!) and also a younger brother (?), as a surrogate daughter for a number of reasons: someone who during the 2 days we shared each other’s company 1) she only ever complimented one member of her immediate family, her grandmother, no doubt a contemporary of mine such is the difference in our ages; 2) stopped writing to me shortly after returning home some 3 months after we met, never to write to me again except a short note of apology for not writing; but 3) someone who during 9 years of the 10 year period managed to stay in touch, by variously hitting my MySpace accounts and hitting my blogs over the first 5 to 6 years, and latterly by visiting my profile account on F-book in a show of affection to mark the anniversary of our 2 days spent in each other's company..?

For my part I decided 5 years ago it was no longer appropriate for me to have any contact with this young person, and so I stopped posting pics and blogs on MySpace, the latter because MySpace Admin withdrew the facility, and latterly I have stopped posting anything on F-book, already 18 months ago, which nonetheless hasn’t quelled her attention 100%, when now I just hope one day she will post a pic of herself and a a nice young man and possibly spring back into the life of the vivacious person she appeared to be at our meeting..?

Have a good day everyone and hurrah for International Women’s Day, albeit it a day late!!!