Looking out of my study window this day... 2026 5 13
...and thinking that all the new leaves, different shades of green and yellow, not a particularly bright day but no longer raining perhaps, as earlier when I went for my daily swim: the grass different hues of green, abundant so far only in patches, the whole scene presaging the dawn of summer.
And within a month now I shall be departing for another sojourn in the Arctic latitudes of Northern Finland and Arctic Norway, my 6th year in a row.
Next Monday the 22nd anniversary of my mother's death day when as she was 26 years older than I tells me I too am approaching the fatal day when I too depart this world, already so many of my erstwhile friends and relatives having followed in the wake of my Ma.
But just this time of year as I had begun to get used to seeing the Gulf of Finland's sea loom, with the morning sunrise in our East facing garden, the whole scene changes to reveal another new spring, when its as if everything is breaking into a new beginning?
Newly arrived birds everywhere I go: all the land and sea birds pretty much arrived. Only the Satakieli in English the Nightingale, meaning a "100 Tongues" still to come though, obscurely last year, for whatever reason it didn't appear when I used to thinlk it sang at the time of my mothers last breaths as it was in 2005 when I first registered hearing it at 5 10 in the morning. Accompanying the flowering of our Cherry Trees, completing the idyllic backdrop...
I had had to travel to my once home in Northern England at the beginning of May in 2004 with the news our mother had been taken into Hospital from her long standing sojourn with our sister, who had continued living in the same town as she. Diabetic in her later years, and supplied with an "Insulin Pen" I was fearful that, so often, she became confused when the level of medication was less than ideal. So visiting her 3rd and 4th May, after my regular spring last visit 13th and 14th March, I found her confused on the first day when my sister told me how the hospital staff made her sit up in a chair, or in bed, for some part of each day, to prolong her life, with little understanding of the fact she was ready to depart this world. Turning to me, she told me she was awaiting our *****, who was me, but suffice to say I saw the Consultant in charge of her Geriatric Ward, who brought the whole Ward staff into his Office,to hear me tell them they were not make her sit up any more, that our mother had come to die. The next day I saw her for the last time when she was sleeping soundly, without confusion, and I have to think someone had told her, her son from Finland had visited her, and re-arranged her care(!?)
65 years my Mam was there for me, my closest confidante in terms of guilding what I was to do with my life: getting me the start on my career ladder, for example: putting Mr Jack, the town's Youth Employment Officer, right when he said he liked to keep hold of the job vacancy cards for High or Grammar School pupils, when she declared that's not your job but the job of the ppl in the Companies doing the recruiting, in their subsequent interviews of the applicants. In the spring of her demise I guess I was able to tell her I had just been named a FRSC (Fellow of the Royal Society of Chemistry) testifying to her superior knowledge when confronted with the inept Mr Jack.
And when aged 48 I was offered a better job in Finland compared to he one in England which facilitated my daily visits to her house only walking distance away from my then job she admonished me with the words "Now you must accept their offer, your wife ***** has lived 20 yrs in your country now it's your turn to live in hers.
Looking out over our East facing garden today, against the background of how many times she got to visit us here during the following 16 years of her remaining life I can think how she was always self-sacrificing for her three children, and moreover always right in the subjects that matter to a person.
And within a month now I shall be departing for another sojourn in the Arctic latitudes of Northern Finland and Arctic Norway, my 6th year in a row.
Next Monday the 22nd anniversary of my mother's death day when as she was 26 years older than I tells me I too am approaching the fatal day when I too depart this world, already so many of my erstwhile friends and relatives having followed in the wake of my Ma.
But just this time of year as I had begun to get used to seeing the Gulf of Finland's sea loom, with the morning sunrise in our East facing garden, the whole scene changes to reveal another new spring, when its as if everything is breaking into a new beginning?
Newly arrived birds everywhere I go: all the land and sea birds pretty much arrived. Only the Satakieli in English the Nightingale, meaning a "100 Tongues" still to come though, obscurely last year, for whatever reason it didn't appear when I used to thinlk it sang at the time of my mothers last breaths as it was in 2005 when I first registered hearing it at 5 10 in the morning. Accompanying the flowering of our Cherry Trees, completing the idyllic backdrop...
I had had to travel to my once home in Northern England at the beginning of May in 2004 with the news our mother had been taken into Hospital from her long standing sojourn with our sister, who had continued living in the same town as she. Diabetic in her later years, and supplied with an "Insulin Pen" I was fearful that, so often, she became confused when the level of medication was less than ideal. So visiting her 3rd and 4th May, after my regular spring last visit 13th and 14th March, I found her confused on the first day when my sister told me how the hospital staff made her sit up in a chair, or in bed, for some part of each day, to prolong her life, with little understanding of the fact she was ready to depart this world. Turning to me, she told me she was awaiting our *****, who was me, but suffice to say I saw the Consultant in charge of her Geriatric Ward, who brought the whole Ward staff into his Office,to hear me tell them they were not make her sit up any more, that our mother had come to die. The next day I saw her for the last time when she was sleeping soundly, without confusion, and I have to think someone had told her, her son from Finland had visited her, and re-arranged her care(!?)
65 years my Mam was there for me, my closest confidante in terms of guilding what I was to do with my life: getting me the start on my career ladder, for example: putting Mr Jack, the town's Youth Employment Officer, right when he said he liked to keep hold of the job vacancy cards for High or Grammar School pupils, when she declared that's not your job but the job of the ppl in the Companies doing the recruiting, in their subsequent interviews of the applicants. In the spring of her demise I guess I was able to tell her I had just been named a FRSC (Fellow of the Royal Society of Chemistry) testifying to her superior knowledge when confronted with the inept Mr Jack.
And when aged 48 I was offered a better job in Finland compared to he one in England which facilitated my daily visits to her house only walking distance away from my then job she admonished me with the words "Now you must accept their offer, your wife ***** has lived 20 yrs in your country now it's your turn to live in hers.
Looking out over our East facing garden today, against the background of how many times she got to visit us here during the following 16 years of her remaining life I can think how she was always self-sacrificing for her three children, and moreover always right in the subjects that matter to a person.
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